Morale Science

Yesterday one of my flat mates, while eating eggs (arey yaar cooked, not raw), asked the other one “how many eggs have you eaten till now?”. The other guy gave him a damnedest veggie look you’d ever see in you life and took this as a very personal question. He asked other one to leave the apartment right away. They didn’t tell me, I wasn’t home, but after noticing the state of two my pillows, I believe they fought too. I wonder why they didn’t throw eggs at each other. So now the egg eating guy is leaving this month end, while the veggie guy was already scheduled to leave a few dayz after that. So now I’m out of roomies, a treat for enjoying my beer out somewhere at that time… God is indeed watching… ;).

People are interesting; sometimes stuff just comes right in your nose from nowhere, and you just can’t blow it away.

And now I’m hitting all time low on morale, almost 50 feet deep now. The way my roommates keep telling each other stuff, I dig almost three quarters of a foot per day. Soon enough, I’ll be a bore hole and will hope to solve some water problem.

And this sign hung in a cube of one of my colleague (angrej) doesn’t help much out of my situation

“The beating will continue, Until morale improves ...”

At first I thought its like a catch-22. Since beating will continue, morale will keep on going down and hence beating will continue for ever. That was the Sylvester-Stallone-working-out type phase of my stay and I was made to work at a rate of 40 kg per second. But one day I figured, there gotta be a way to stop beating, I mean, what kind of a by-birth-eating-raw-eggs pessimist dude would post such a pessimistic note in his cube? May be I’m reading it by the same logic by what you’d consider Ganguly to be best ever on-side player beating the balls out of Shoaib Akhtar.

So I tried to putting it the other way round. I thought if my morale keeps getting down, the beating will keep on going. So I guess, I’ll have to improve my morale somehow to get the beating to stop. Bingo!!

I got the right answer this time and tried my best to improve my morale by watching 2 Akshay Khanna and 1 Govinda movie. I could not rent a Ranjikanth one, or it would have been a perfect boost to get even my intestines working at twice their rate, although intestines working so fast would pose some obvious problems. Anyway, morale did improve but the beating still only slowed down, it still won’t stop.

And that’s then I figured. Beating won’t stop coz I was consciously trying to keep my mind off it while watching those movies. I realized, 20 years from now, none of the beatings matter, but the morale will keep you going. And I started enjoying Friends in a real sense, without the thought of any reason whatsoever.

And beating did stop.

And that’s true, 20 years from now, if I live, none of this would matter anyway, only happiness remains. So go and do whatever you want, not what you see others are doing. And as forrest gump used to say, “there's only so much fortune a man really needs...”, I don’t care about my extra savings either. I have enough, and I have my life. Not a real ambitious thing to say, but to hell with it.

So bhai log, I’ve made my decision now. I’m cutting my trip short and coming back to India early October sometime… yippiee.. :D

Ma and pa are real happy, I’d get to spend Diwali with them. I plan to buy lotz of crackers and blow the hell out of everybody’s eardrums. I’ll save half to throw at my current room mates, but sush!!, don’t tell ‘em. They’ll really hate me if they come to know of this post. Being real personal fellows, they may take it personally and decide to throw eggs or tomatoes at me. I don’t want that. I mean, who’ll do all the washing after that? But then, since 20 years from now none of these eggs would matter, what the hell… let me go and get some eggs made… at least those ones wouldn't be thrown at me then ... :D