Philam Ishtar

Last few dayz have been hectic. Hectic becuase I had lotz of work. Not that I did much of that, but it was hectic anyways. Sometimes mere presence of a task to complete is much more burdensome than actually doing it. I tried to prove it to my boss that I am not a good soul for it, I was actually born to do something else, like say work in movies. But he won't listen and gave me the unowned ownership. And so I had to work while in office, while at home, while cooking food, while watching you tube, checking cute girls's profile on orkut, checking gmail and I'm working even while writing this post. Its a heavy burden, I need to get some stuff done. And I guess working once in a while haven't broken anyone's leg I know yet. Even my boss works once in a while.

But on the other hand if you seriously believe that you were born to do something else, I bet you would hate your life after a couple of years. Thats because then all this becomes a temp thing for you and you actually look forward to your true self. And inevitably when it doesn't come, you become what you are. Like for me, I didn't become a movie star. Only if I had chance, I would have been best movie actor ever. But some of my damned depressing friends and my mirror tells me that I am only fit for Ramsay Brother's horror movies with a bedsheet all over me and my face. And my computer software tells me that I was made only for export quality geeky stuff, which is a hardcoded statement in that software (ok, this was a geeky line, apply your brains). But I blame it to my dad, not running off to somewhere in bombay and become a big shot movie star. If he would have done that, I would have made it.

Shush now, dont tell anyone, but I am pulling all this movie crap just to tell you guys that hollywood itself has come to my office here in US, with a pretend aim of shooting a film called death sentence, and actual aim of hiring me as lead actor in their next movie. Kevin Becon (its a name, not referring to pig) himself is coming to see the guy chose for their next movie (thats me, dumbo). They have finally recognised acting talent of software guys during all these years. We act everyday during our meetings. You might laugh, but the role is of a short cute Indian guy, who becomes a millionaire after stealing all the spoons one by one from office canteen and selling them on ebay. Inspired by the role, I have already decided to steal the table lamps in the cubicles prepared for movie shoot and sell them on ebay, first thing tomorrow morning. I know there are people crazy enough on ebay to buy such overwhelmingly useless stuff for good money.

Ok. before you start hating me, I'll cut this crap out. but I'm not falling asleep and I have nothing better to do, so i will write some more. may be about today. No, don't get any ideas, no matter how much you ask or anything, I'm not going to tell you about what I ate today.

I had to be ready for office by 8.10 this morning. I woke up at 7.55 when my roommate shouted loud enough within millimeters of turning me into the deaf guy with a katora in his hands. Don't worry, It doesn't happen everyday, I forgot to set my alarm last night. The days I set my alarm, I usually keep snoozing it for about an hour and right before my roommate comes to shout, I get up. Mainly because of the fear that I will loose my ears forever if I allowed this shouting everyday. And so everybody blamed me for getting them late, even though I can swear on my shower curtains that they weren't ready either. Its a tough world, you'll be blamed if you are not ready on time. And when I reached office, my conference call was cancelled. Thats sad in a sense becuase now I have to pass 30 more minutes and I could have come more later. But happily, I didn't had to give any status for the work I didn't do. They usually don't care about the stuff you got done, but there's a lot of discussion on stuff you didn't do.

Anyway, since there was lots of work, I decided to take a coffee break first and start afresh. While I just finished coffee, somebody took me to 4th floor where hollywood guys were preparing sets. I sneaked inside and had my pictures pasted in all the cubicles. Now when the movie is released, if my picture shows up on screen, I can sue them to be a millionaire.

Then I ran off from that place. What if anybody spots me? Who would sign 300 autographs for crew members? Thats a lot of signing. I have little fingers, which are used to play guitar (ladies, please notice, no kidding!), not to pull some autograph stunt.

Anyway, I know we just moved till lunch, but its already 1.58 AM and I would have to at least lie down now. I don't have strength enough to run spell check, so if anything bothers you, please copy the text... paste into MS Word and press F7 to run spell check. thank you for your understanding nature.

bhai ko dekhna maangta

abe sun re ghaslet... kaan ka wax zara poora bahar nikaal aur baat ko zara dhyan se sun aur samajh. Abhi kya hai kuchh filmon main bheja apply karne ka try naii karne ka kya. comedy ki pavitra bhaavna se movie dekhne ka aur samajhne ka try ekdum se usi time nahi maarne ka. ab pj mat maarna ki bhanva kaun? dimaag sad jata hai apna isse. ye wala joke bahut chal chuka abhi. Haan pan agar tu ekdum hi sentiaps ki dukaan type aadmi hai and u ask for checks (uii... cheques) when the person you robbing doesn't have cash, fir baat alag hai. fir to tera kaleja movie ke beech main hi muh ho aa jayega aur tu side walon ko lagega tu leak kar rela hai. aur baad main bahut majaak udega. to load nahi lene ka, movie ke beech main movie ka majaak banane ka, itta hi man kar riya hai to baad main time mila to sochne ka. samjha kya e leakage?

go watch lage raho munn bhai and curcuit bhai. a feat in bhejaless movies where the director tries to put in his bheja and tries to convey his message. aur poora chance hai ki pehle aadhe ghante main to hans hans a kidney bahar aane wali hai ma kasam. aur beechh beech main director ne itti zor se bheja lagayela hai ki aankh ka shutter down kar lene ka. thoda time baad kholne ka. aise bhee tu dekhne nahi gaya to koi bada locha nahi hai, bhai log tere ko tere bathroom se utha ke leke jaayenge aur picure dikhayenge. hit karaana maangta hai. bhai ne bola picture hit to hit.

par ek baat. sath main ek cotton a bedding leke jane ka. arey nahi yaar, kisi ko maarne pitne ka nai. tu samjha hoga ki do jamane ka aur ruyi se blood rokne ka. nahi yaar, watt mat laga mood ki. sun dhyan se. concentrate karke movie dekhna aur jaise hi koi gana vaana aaye kaan main cotton ka gadda daal dene ka. gane nahi sunne ka, sala nahi to gaya bheja ekdum se dark ages main. mamoo, precaution rakhne ka. love story pe bhee jyada dhyan nahi dene ka, love is anyway a triumph of imagination over intelligence. uii... solid baat. :)

ab kya hai, i hav seen a hindi movie after a long time. i've got my hair cut twice during that period and its time for third one. to ho sakta hai lambe baalon ki ghutan hai ya picturon se judai ka asar, but munna bhai .. err .. circuit bhai ko dekhna to maangta... samajh main aaya kya? abhi jeb se haath nikal, computer band kar, bike utha aur dekh ke aa. fir baat karte hain apun. dekhte hain tu bhaigiri chhodta hai ki nahi??